Jackie's Story

When we have children we know that things will happen along the way, as they grow up...

... which we possibly hadn't planned for like swimming with sharks, jumping from planes, living on the other side of the world but no doubt finding a partner along the way, setting up home and having a family - just like us! Well, the story I and many other parents have isn't quite as we might have predicted.

When my son Rob was 12 he told me and then my husband that he thought he was gay. Obviously we were rather taken aback, especially as he was so young but we didn't flinch and said that children of his age, both girls and boys, were going through a topsy-turvy time with hormones flying in all directions and that this was called puberty. We told him not to worry, just put it on the back-burner and if he wanted to chat about how he felt he should talk to us. He settled back down to life at school (a boys only school), socialised very happily and it wasn't until he had done his GCSE's that he brought the subject up again. He was very relaxed about his sexuality and so were we. He went from aged 16 to Outzone, a wonderful youth group which met on Fridays, where he was able to mix freely with like-minded people. He never came out at school but it never appeared to be an issue anyway. He knew he could always talk to my husband and myself and also his older sister, as openly as he wanted.

At 18 he went to Cambridge and has just finished his degree. He met his partner when he started at Cambridge and they have been together now for over 2½ years.

What I want to say really is that things may not pan out just as one thinks they might but your son/daughter is still your son/daughter, whatever their sexual leanings might be. We have a wonderful son who through being gay has opened our eyes and the eyes of family and friends to the 'gay society'. What your children need is your support and understanding, whatever the situation, and they will hopefully go on to become rounded adults who in turn will be able to support the next generation and yes... there is no reason why they too can't become parents.

Ruby Lee