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This section is for parents who are supporting sons and daughters who may lack confidence, who are experiencing difficulties with their social lives or are choosing unsafe lifestyle choices.
Keeping busyForming friendshipsIf your son or daughter is under 25, there are Youth Groups in some areas. To find out what is available, contact your local Youth Service. You can find full information on LGBT youth services at: www.freestylelondon.org.ukAlso the London Lesbian and Gay Switchboard - lists local youth groups - www.llgs.org.uk - 020 7837 7324
Mosaic - Youth Group for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Questioning (LGBT) Teens age 13 - 19 - www.mosaicyouth.org.uk Umbrella offers the opportunity to meet other young people in a safe, friendly space in Kensington and Chelsea for fun, activities, workshops, trips and more. For more information call or text 07807 159958 / 07939 864106 or email umbrella@rbkc.gov.uk
Trans Youth Group - run by gendered intelligence for 13-24 year olds who are questioning thier gender identity
Websites for young LGBT people
You may be anxious about your son or daughter accessing information on the Internet. However, for some young people, this is the only way they can make contact with other young people like themselves. Good sites can also be excellent sources of information and advice.
If you are worried, check out the sites yourself first, and also look at our advice on cyberbullying and safety below.
Being gay is OK - www.bgiok
Gay Youth - www.gayyouth.org.uk for those who are 25 or under
(there is also a 'discreet' site - www.gyuk.org.uk)
The Gay Youth Corner - www.thegyc.com for gay people aged 14 -25
Queer Youth Network run by and for LGBTQ youth and teens - www.queeryouth.org.uk Joining in For those about to start college or university, there are LGBT groups to join. Contact the National Union of Students - www.nus.org.ukInternational Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Youth and Student Organisation - www.iglyo.com London LGBT Youth Council - contact the Youth Council Co-ordinator - www.lgbtconsortium.org.uk Volunteering
A number of organisations offer LGBT young people the opportunity of volunteering whilst covering expenses. For a list, contact: www.lgbtconsortium.org.uk.
See also the Lesbian and Gay Foundation - www.lgf.org.uk Keeping healthyKeeping fit Out To Swim - swimming and waterpolo - www.outtoswim.orgPride Sports - www.pridesports.org Gay Sport - www.gaysport.info
Mental healthAs parents, we need to be aware that, compared to their heterosexual peers, young LGBT people are:
See: 'Young LGBT People, Briefing 3, Department of Health' Parental attitudes are very important to a young LGBT person's mental health. If you are struggling to accept your child's sexuality, then it will be important for you to seek help for yourself through information and support telephone lines, finding ways of meeting other parents, reading and through the internet. PACE - support to young LGBT people under 25 and their families - www.pacehealth.org.uk
If you want to draw attention to the health inequalities above, you can go to the website for the National Institute for Clinical Excellence, go to 'Get involved' and ask them to prioritise research into this issue - www.nice.org.uk
Lifestyle choicesYoung LGBT people are at an increased risk of illicit drug abuse compared to their heterosexual peers.Lesbian and bisexual girls are more likely than heterosexual girls to:
Daz-elle Drug and Alcohol Service London - www.dasl.org.uk
Sexual healthThe age of consent for same sex-relationships is the same as that for heterosexual ones: 16 years.
For parents of younger people, the AIDs charity AVERT has a good 'Teens' section on its website - for girls, too! - www.avert The Lesbian and Gay Foundation - focuses on safe sexual health - www.lgfoundation.org.uk - 0845 3 30 30 30 and provide a useful free booklet called: 'Sex Education: A comprehensive guide to good sexual health for LGB people'. Lesbian Sexual Health
'More than just good friends'. A booklet of safe sex for lesbians. Contact the Publications Department ant the centre for HIV and Sexual Health (0114 226 1900)
Young lesbians are often unaware that they are at risk of sexually transmitted diseases (STIs), and should ask for regular screening tests. For more information on women's health, see 'Prescription for Change: Lesbian and bisexual women's health check, 2008' obtainable from - www.stonewall.org.uk
Sexual Health for Gay Men For men and boys, condom use is essential. Most areas have places where condoms are free on request. If a condom breaks, contact the sexual health information line 0800 567123 (freephone). The Gay Men's Health Charity - www.gmfa.org.ukSexual Health Information Line: 0800 567123 (freephone) The Terrence Higgins Trust offers advice on safer sex, a helpline and online booklets - www.tht.org.uk Health professionals and the NHSThe General Medical Council is committed to supporting patients who experience homphobia from NHS staff. They say:
'Patients must be able to trust doctors with their lives and health. This includes lesbian, gay and bisexual patients and their families. They have the same rights as anyone else to safe, effective and apporopriate care'
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Helpline: 0845 357 0022, e-mail at practise@gmc-uk.org or write to:
General Medical Council Fitness to Practice Directorate,
St James' Buildings,
79 Oxford Street, Manchester M1 6FQ
Keeping safeThe list below can be a bit frightening for parents, but remember that your son or daughter will be much safer if you give them this advice and encourage them to follow it.
In the street
GALOP's top 10 Safety Tips for when you are socialising
For further safety advice see - www.suzylamplugh.org
Cyberbullying'Facebook' pages are very public! Some of our sons and daughters have experienced problems. Please do warn them to be careful about what they write. Remind them not to make their sexuality public knowledge unless they are prepared for everyone to know about it.The following advice is taken from 'Cyberbullying: A whole-school community issue', produced by the Department for Children, Schools and Families. you can download this publication from www.teachernet.gov.uk/publications (Ref: DCSF-00685-2007). For children and young people
For parents and carers
Harrassment and hate crimeParents understandably worry about their children being the victims of harrassment or homophobic hate crime. The Association of Chief Police Officers defines a homophobic hate incident as: ' Any incident which is perceived to be homophobic by the victim or any other person.' To be a hate incident or hate crime, an event must be perceived by the victim or any other person, as being: '...motivated by prejudice or hate.'
Section 146 of the Criminal Justice Act 2003 came into effect in April 2005, empowering courts to impose tougher sentences for offences motivated or aggravated by the victim's sexual orientation in England and Wales. Families Together London asked the advice of the police on reporting hate crime. If you or your son or daughter is the victim of a hate crime, such as hate mail, verbal abuse, domestic violence, harassment or any other form of abuse, the advice is always to report it. Even if you or your son or daughter decide to take no further action, it helps the police to know where and in what circumstances an incident occurred in case there are other similiar incidents. This helps them to protect other victims. Ask for the incident to be logged as a homophobic incident, so that it will be followed up by the most appropriate people. Many police forces now have LGBT liaison officers who deal with homophobic offences, support victims and engage in community initiatives. The Met in London has an LGBT officer for every London borough. You can check out who the LGBT officer for your area is from the Met website - www.met.police.uk. Where a police officer behaves inappropriately towards an LGBT person, or fails to intervene when they should, get their name or shoulder number and report them. When it is not possible to report an incident directly... If for any reason you cannot report a homphobic incident to the police - for example if your son or daughter will not co-operate in reporting the incident or if you fear reprisals within your community - then you can report a hate crime anonymously on the True Vision online reporting system: GALOP: London's LGBT Safety Charity - www.galop.org.uk Helpline: 020 7704 2040 Police - www.police.uk/forces.htm City of London Police - www.cityoflondon.police.uk Metropolitan Police Service - www.met.police.uk Homophobic Hate Crimes and Hate Incidents (2009) Equality and Human Rights Commission research summary 38 - www.equalityhumanrights.com Homophobic Hate Crime: The gay British crime survey (2008) - www.stonewall.org.uk LGBT Advisory Group - policing watchdog for the LGBT community -www.lgbtag.org.uk The Gender Identity Research and Education Society (GIRES) has also set up a system to enable trans people to report the crimes they experience - www.TCrime.net Domestic violenceSadly, young LGBT people are more vulnerable to domestic abuse than their straight counterparts. If there is domestic abuse in your family as a result of a family member's sexuality or presumed sexuality, then it is essential to seek help in order to make your home safe.
The Domestic Abuse Partnership offers a range of services including emergency advice, emotional support legal advice and support as well as specific advice around sexual abuse - www.LGBTDAP.org.uk
Forced MarriageA forced marriage is a marriage conducted without the valid consent of both people, where pressure or abuse is used. This is not the same thing an arranged marriage, where both parties give full and free consent.
Lesbians and gay men from some cultures may be vulnerable to forced marriage. If you know someone who is being forced into a marriage, The Forced Marriage Unit can give advice and help, even if the person has been taken abroad.
(+44) (0) 020 7008 0151
Accommodation and housingLGBT people are more likely to suffer problems with housing and homelessness than heterosexual people. The following organisations can help:
Albert Kennedy Trust - support for LGBT young homeless people - www.akt.org.uk Jigsaw, for homeless young LGBT people - www.jigsaw.net Stonewall Housing: advice and help - www.stonewallhousing.org
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