A program charting the experience of 3 young people as they came out to family and friends was shown on  

BBC 3 on 17th January 2012 -9pm-10pm

It followed 3 young people and their mums as they transitioned from female to male, male to female and a lesbian teenager coming out to her friends.  It was heartwarming and painful to watch at the same time.  It was done in the manner of diary extracts.  Well worth an hour's watch. If you missed this program you will still be able to catch on BBC on the internet.

A spectacular success was how one parent described FTL’s fundraising event last Saturday-12^th November 2011.

We began the afternoon just milling around chatting to friends and families. Many of our members brought along their children who joined in with helping to set up the tables, arrange the food and sell the raffle tickets. We had babies, toddlers, parents and grandparents. You could say a truly family affair.

This was the second year that we had all got together to enjoy a mouth watering culinary experience prepared by Russ (Chef) and Luisa. Last year we dined out on a Moroccan meal and also enjoyed live jazz. This year we feasted on an Italian meal while Italian music wafted softly in the background.

The drawing of raffle tickets made everyone excited, as we had some top class prizes like a meal for two at Le Pont de la Tour restaurant, a haircut at Charles Worthington salon plus hair products, bottles of champagne, brandy, cake baked by Gill, and other prizes.

To close the afternoon, Hatta and her son Matthew made a short speech encouraging members to spread the word that we are there to support parents of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender children and through our support also help parents to understand and accept their LGB&T children. Matthew encouraged the young people to tell their friends about our work at FTL, and he said that he had a lot of praise for his mother and the other parents for reaching out to support LGB&T youth and their families.

We would like to thank all the people who helped make this event a success, including all the participants, plus those who made generous contributions of raffle prizes and donations. We were able to raise £1100.

I would like to conclude with special thanks to Russ and Luisa.

Joanne Manson-FTL member.

4^th OCTOBER 2011

Jackie B, Mary, Garry, Mike Freer MP, Hatta

Mike Freer the MP for Finchley and Golders Green gave a group of about 10 of us a fantastic tour of the House of Commons.   He was only going to show us around for about one hour but ‘two’ hours later we were only just ending his ‘personal’ tour which was full of history, anecdotes and lots of opportunities to ask questions.  We went into the ‘House’ and were free  Prime Ministers from previous decades have placed their hands as they made their historic speeches and debated.  We found out that the box holds the Koran, the Bible and the Torah for ‘swearing in’ purposes.  That was just one of the things we found out.  We went to the Whip’s Office, the dining rooms and the fantastic terrace overlooking the Thames.  I could go on, but suffice to say Mike made the tour interesting and fun.to touch all the items on the table including the box where

Hopefully we can do another tour next year and maybe others who were unable to take up this opportunity will be able to do so next time.

GILL BUTLER’S TALK

SATURDAY 8^th OCTOBER 2011

We were delighted to welcome Gill Butler to our meeting at Battersea.  Gill is a lawyer with the firm Burton Woods and she specialises in family matters connected with the LGBT community.  We wanted a lawyer to come along to set us straight about certain issues that arise with regard to adoption, surrogacy, break-up of partnerships where there are children involved and other legal dilemmas appertaining specifically to gay parents. 

She gave us historical facts and then brought us up-to-date with current legislation.  Some information was surprising and needless to say once she had finished her talk there were many questions from our members.

We did ask her if she would give some personal time to a couple of our members who are going through very difficult situations and Gill kindly stayed on to try and assist where possible.

We hope to repeat some time in the future another session on legal issues as legislation changes very rapidly and it is good to be kept abreast of these changes.

JOIN US FOR A CELEBRATORY LUNCH ITALIAN STYLE

SATURDAY, 12^th NOVEMBER, 2011 AT 12.15

We have had a wonderful year at FTL and because of last year’s tremendous lunch event we decided to repeat the experience with an Italian flavour.  We are inviting all our members, their families and friends and people who have helped FTL get on the map and speakers who have given their valued time. 

This is our main fundraiser so we are asking for £10 per ticket.  Please bring your own wine which you have chosen to go with the meal.  If you would like the vegetarian option, please let us know.  There will be a raffle too with some excellent prizes. 

Please email or ring –

Hatta – hatta@familiestogetherlondon.com - 020 8874 4214

Jackie – jackie@familiestogetherlondon.com - 07740436560

Mary – mary@familiestogetherlondon.com - 07764899244

On Friday 1^st July I attended the Stonewall Education for All Conference. It was good to have had a personal contact with Chris Gibbons (Senior Education Officer, Stonewall) who knew Marjorie personally and also remembered her speaking at a Stonewall conference a few years ago.

The morning started with coffee and croissants! I was impressed by the numbers of delegates (around 250) and also the distances that others had travelled, there were people from as far afield as Cumbria and Devon, it made me appreciate how lucky we are to live in London and have some of these facilities on our doorstep.

Ben Summerskill gave an entertaining introduction to the Conference and briefly explained about the work that Stonewall are doing with schools, both senior and primary, in the fight against homophobic bullying.

Nick Gibb MP (Minister for Education) spoke about how the government are committed to dealing with bullying and how they feel that academic standards will improve if pupils can feel safe and secure within the school environment. He stressed the need for pupils’ language to be more respectful. He explained that the Govt can’t “prescribe” and won’t dictate but will use all its tools to send the message that homophobic bullying is unacceptable. He recognised that the Govt are not the experts but organisations such as Stonewall and “Schools Out” are. He explained that schools must take responsibility for their own environment, that the anti bullying guidelines have been streamlined making information more accessible and useful. The current Education Bill will give Heads and teachers the control, and enabling them to empower their staff. He stressed that while he is in Govt the education world should be clear that the use of the word gay is as unacceptable as any racial slur and expects teachers to react in the same way they would for racial abuse.

Gok Wan, fashion guru and openly gay personality, then read a dramatic and chilling account of how he was, as a teenager, bullied for being fat, mixed race and gay.

There followed a time for questions and comments. It was mentioned that the media must support this too and how damaging the media can be. Especially the Daily Mail!! Some schools have met with resistance from parents and consequently the press when trying to tackle gay issues. Independent schools were mentioned, and how legislation affects them or not!

Another delegate mentioned that whilst the bullies may be dealt with we mustn’t forget the victims, who can often be ignored.

There was much discussion about positive role models for children who do not conform to the usual stereotype.

We then split into smaller groups, which we had chosen before the conference. Working in Early Years (with 2 to 5year olds) I felt that the most appropriate break out group for me was Celebrating Difference. How to tackle homophobia in Primary Schools. It proved to be very inspiring and encouraging to see some of the very positive steps that can be taken in primary schools to promote a more respectful environment, where homophobic language is challenged and difference is celebrated.

 Stonewall is working closely with a number of primary schools around the country introducing “Different Families Same Love” to even the youngest of classes. This is being done through interesting projects supported by resources provided by Stonewall. Raising awareness to children that lots of families do not conform to the usual, Daddy Mummy and 2 children!!! We received our own pack of resources including a very interesting DVD which schools can use for whole staff training. The key is to get the support from the top down, the governors; the Head right down to the lunchtime support staff, without this whole school approach implementation is difficult. Schools do also need local authority support.

Morning Coffee!!!

The break out group that I chose for the second session was “Working with Faith Communities.” There were 3 interesting speakers. Paddy Storrie a Deputy Head of a Christian comprehensive school in Hertfordshire, Janine Clements Director of Jewish Action and Training and Lyndsey Buchanan, Citizen and Cohesion Advisor for Waltham Forest’s Change for Children Team.  We heard from Paddy about how they’ve addressed homophobic bullying, focussing on respect rather than sexuality. He explained that they’ve moved on from a rather outdated view of “We don’t care what you think or say outside school ...you don’t do it here” where this is no longer an appropriate standard.

Janine Clements spoke gently and thought provokingly. She used a selection of quotes to illustrate her points. “If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor” (Desmond Tutu)

“All wrong doing arises because of mind. If mind is transformed can wrong doing remain?” (Buddha).

Lyndsey finished this session speaking about how Waltham Forest have included local Religious faith leaders in discussions and have drawn up a document that they have signed so that if they meet resistance from individuals parents in schools they are able to say that their religious leaders are supporting the work that is being done within the borough.

Lunch! A super buffet lunch was provided and a time for chatting with the other delegates. I introduced myself to Chris Gibbons and thanked him personally for having us; he spoke very warmly of Marjorie. I also spoke to Elly Barnes who had recently met Joanne at one of her workshops. I mixed about taking the opportunity to talk about what we do at FTL, trying especially to speak to those who were London based. (We all had name badges and where we were from, so I peered at peoples badges trying to ascertain whether they were “local” or not!!). I gave out some of our leaflets to those who expressed an interest and who felt they may be able to use them.

I was aware that Marjorie was far more experienced than me in the field of education but felt proud to be representing FTL and confident that Marjorie would be delighted that we were there.

 The afternoon session started in the auditorium with “The Changing Policy Context: How the Education System Will Support Your Work to Tackle Homophobia”.

A representative from the DFE reiterated Nick Gibbs assurance that the Govt will continue to tackle homophobic bullying. That the Education White Paper and general education policies are building on this, and are also committed to improving initial teacher training. It was mentioned again that the govt want to be less prescriptive, share best practice, for schools to be accountable, to tackle homophobic language and to give more powers to teachers. Govt want schools to drive this for themselves. They are thinking about removing the 24hour notice for detentions (this was met with mixed reactions from teachers in the audience).

This session included a keynote address from Susan Gregory from Ofsted who announced that they are reducing the number of care areas that they will inspect from around 20 to 4!

1).Pupils achievement,

2).Teaching,

3).Leadership

4) Behaviour and Safety

Stonewall explained that they are working closely with the Department of Education providing training and resources’ to reflect and support the national policy. They are also supporting local authorities and individual schools to implement legislation.

What does this all mean?

The Govt will have a very different relationship with schools, they’ll be stepping back and letting school s take control, there will be more accountability. The local authorities will have better links with organizations with expertise such as Stonewall. Govt is committed to tackling prejudice based bullying.

 The final keynote address was from Roger Crouch whose 15 year old son committed suicide last year. Dominic may not even have been gay but his death was as a direct result of homophobic bullying that had affected him so much that he saw no other way forward than to kill himself. Roger spoke with dignity and passion giving a moving account of Dom’s last 48 hours. It was, quite frankly shocking; I’m not ashamed to say that I was reduced to tears.

 I feel very privileged to have been able to attend such a professional, interesting and worthwhile event. I am encouraged to see the work of Stonewall and the enthusiasm of so many people involved directly or indirectly with education. There is some very positive work being done in Primary and Secondary schools, unfortunately there is still much to be done and lots of schools to reach. But it appears that things are moving in the right direction and the hope is that in the future our schools will be places where ALL children can feel safe and accepted for who they are.

By Liz

Marjorie Smith, FTL website developer and tireless human rights campaigner died on 9th February 2011. She is survived by her husband Jon, two sons Stephen and Richard, mother Marianne and brother, Michael.

Although I first met Marjorie Smith in August 2008, I had previously heard about her from Hatta Hodson (founder of Families Together London). Marjorie was a vital and valued member of FTL and had worked tirelessly to get the website to its current stage - where anyone can browse to access information on issues affecting Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender youth and their families.

On the day we met, we had chatted for hours about our sons, families and how our lives and more importantly that of our sons had been affected and would continue to be affected by homophobia in society and globally. Her compassion and understanding of complex issues resonated with me and we immediately formed a bond which continued until the end. I was aware that a few years previously she had been treated for breast cancer, but when the cancer returned early in 2009, she stoically continued all of her numerous activities including her work as an Educational Psychologist and involvement in FTL. She kept her condition private, continuing to work tirelessly and preferring normality above all.

Marjorie believed that education was an essential tool in tackling homophobia and other discrimination including race, gender and disability. She was a passionate campaigner for Human Rights until the end, attending and speaking at conferences, actively communicating with television and radio broadcasters, church leaders, Schools Out members, Police, educators and members of parliament. Marjorie challenged discrimination wherever it exists. She strongly advocated and promoted change where diversity would be valued and not vilified. She contributed a key chapter for a recent book offering inclusion guidance to school teachers (see Teaching and Learning in Diverse and Inclusive Classrooms: Key issues for new teachers, edited by Gill Richards and Felicity Armstrong, published by Routledge 2011) identifying the particular difficulties that can be experienced by our lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender children.

It is not only for her work with Human Rights Organisations, Education Departments and FTL, but also for her personal qualities that Marjorie will be remembered. She combined warmth, generosity, joyousness and enthusiasm for life with great directness and strength of character. She was a dear friend who touched my life and that of many others and will be sadly missed.

Contributed by Joanne Manson - a member of FTL, the London based subsidiary of Friends and Families of Lesbians and Gays (FFLAG)

We were blessed, not with just fantastic weather, but a huge group who made up our walking party.  The event started in Portland Place and ‘very’ slowly started moving down towards Oxford Circus with the final destination just beyond Trafalgar Square. 

This year ‘colour’ was the theme and we invested in some jade coloured T-Shirts with our logo and website printed on the front and back.  To add to the ‘colour’ the LGBT Society of UCL joined us with their own specially designed T-Shirts.  We were a group of about 70 and walking with our newly designed banner we looked like the real deal!

The crowds were amazing and the celebratory atmosphere was inspiring.

I think there must have been about 70 of us in total so we made a pretty big impact on the proceedings – I think I blew myself silly with my whistle!!

Roll on next year’s Pride.

Written by Jackie Briggs